


Daddy's Little Helper

by alittlegreenrosetta



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Smut, Spanking, Villainous Plotting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 10:33:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6048258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlegreenrosetta/pseuds/alittlegreenrosetta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gotham City is getting a new mayor and every villain is plotting their own way to destroy the big day. Harley wants to help but both the Joker and Poison Ivy have told her to leave them alone so she goes out looking for someone who will let her assist them. When the Joker realizes what she's up to, he finds a way to turn it to his advantage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [radiantmania](https://archiveofourown.org/users/radiantmania/gifts).



“Can’t I please help you, Puddin’?” Harley pleaded with the Joker for the millionth time. She was bored and had nothing to do which normally would lead to her trying to seduce Mr. J or failing that go hang out with Red but Gotham City was about to inaugurate a new mayor and every villain in town was busy making their own plans to celebrate this important event. That was ok, Harley wanted to help too but neither Red nor Mr. J had any interest in having her assist them. She wasn’t really surprised about Red, when she’d gone over to offer her assistance she’d taken Bud and Lou with her and her babies had not been on their best behavior. Harley didn’t feel like it was fair to blame her for the naturally playful behavior of hyenas but Poison Ivy had not only refused to let her help with her next crime but had forbidden her from bringing the babies over to her house ever again. Well! If Bud and Lou weren’t welcome then Harley didn’t want to be there either. Or at least for now, she knew she’d probably overcome her annoyance with her best friend sooner or later. She also knew she’d ignore Ivy’s request and bring the babies with her anytime she felt like it.

Of course the person she really wanted to help was the Joker but he rarely let her join his planning for unimportant run of the mill mayhem, there was no way he was going to let her help plan his special surprise for Gotham’s new mayor. That didn’t stop her from begging him to let her help every hour or so. He’d been pretty patient about her constant pleading which was unusual for him but a big showy occasion for crime always put him in a good mood. Plus she suspected he just liked hearing her beg and having the chance to tell her no. He seemed to get some sort of cruel pleasure at pretending to humor her ideas for their next crime only to at the last moment pull the rug out from under her by telling her no and sending her away from him with a quick swat on the butt. For a while just the fun of coming in and trying to present her idea in as appealing a way as possible had been a sort of game. It was when he’d laughed in her face and sent her away after the time she’d tried convincing him by sucking his dick first that she started getting angry. Oh it wasn’t because she’d given him a blowjob first, she had probably enjoyed it as much or more than he had, it was the fact that he hadn’t even let her tell him her idea at all that time. And it was a really good one. No one would expect exploding canapes. Poisoned, sure, but exploding? They’d never see it coming.

“No, go away Harley.” He told her absentmindedly without even looking up from his desk.

“But, Puddin’…”

“GO AWAY!” He screamed at her, his face fierce. She held back the tears that pricked at her eyes but nothing could stop the pout she had on her face as she stomped out of his office and down the hall to the bedroom she shared with him.

She slammed the door shut behind her when she got to their room and picked up the first blunt instrument she came across. She swung her baseball bat as hard as she could into everything she came across: lamps, nightstands, walls; growling out her frustration at not being taken seriously by Mr. J with every swing. When she had worn her anger down a little and put several large holes in the drywall, she dropped the bat and started packing a bag. If the Joker didn’t want her help she’d find someone who did. She was every bit as good at villainy as anyone out there. Well maybe not quite as good as her Puddin’ but he was something special, she had to acknowledge that even when she was angry with him. But she didn’t have to put up with the way he was treating her. She stormed out of the hideout only pausing briefly to shout outside the Joker’s office door.

“I’m going to find someone who appreciates my help and I’m not coming back. I might even kill B-man while I’m at it!” It was an empty threat of course but she had to say something she thought the Joker would actually be upset about and she wasn’t all that sure the threat that she wasn’t coming back would have that effect.

It was one thing to leave the Joker and promise to find another villain to help and it was quite another to actually find a villain that would let her help them. Villains she actually respected enough to want to help were limited to Red and Mr. J. But it wasn’t about respecting the person she was helping, it was about getting back at Puddin’ and showing him that he was making a mistake by ignoring all of her great ideas. Rather than go around trying to sell the rogue’s gallery of Gotham’s worst on the idea of working with her she decided to just choose someone she could manipulate easily and make them let her help. It didn’t take her long to land on the idea of choosing Dr. Jonathan Crane. She had always felt sure he had a little thing for her and he was an easy man for her to understand, they actually had quite a lot in common except instead of being a narcissistic egomaniac, Harley had just fallen in love with one. It was easy enough to find the Scarecrow though Harley always felt surprised to find him out of Arkham, he loved picking unwinnable fights with Batman and spent more time in the asylum than out of it.

“Please tell Dr. Crane that Dr. Harleen Quinzel is here to see him.” She primly commanded the goon that was keeping watch outside the Scarecrow’s hideout. She wasn’t really Harleen anymore but Jonathan Crane put a lot of stock in academic titles and achievement. The reminder of their shared intellectual past would only help her plan. As she expected she was quickly shown into the hideout and taken to the Scarecrow.

“Dr. Quinzel? I must say I’m surprised to have a visit from you. Is there something in particular you wanted?” Jonathan was always polite to her, it was kind of nice in a boring sort of way.

“You can call me Harley, Johnny, you know that. After all we are colleagues, aren’t we?” She approached the man standing across a lab bench from her. He looked more like a chemistry teacher at the moment than a proper foe for Batman. “Looks like you’re hard at work, getting ready for the big inauguration ceremony?”

“Um, yes. Well the inaugural ball actually. I’m surprised you aren’t currently helping the Joker do the same.” He looked at her curiously.

“Oh he has everything all under control. That’s the thing about the Joker, he doesn’t really need any help. But I’m a girl with ideas, Johnny, and I thought to myself, ‘Now who could I be a help to? Who was possibly evil and frightening enough to be worthy of my help but also intelligent and sophisticated enough to want to spend time with?’ You were the obvious choice.” She beamed a big flirtatious smile in his direction and was pleased to see his face redden.

“I appreciate the offer but I believe I have everything well under control. You are welcome to stay and visit but I’m afraid I don’t really need any help.” The Scarecrow cleared his throat and loosened his tie a little after he stopped speaking. Sure, he’d like a visit alright. Not likely pal! She might be mad at her Puddin’ but she’d always be his girl.

“Let me guess? You have a stockpile of your fear gas and you are going to seal the building and gas everyone at the ball with it?” Harley knew she was right. Dr. Jonathan Crane might in fact be a brilliant chemist but he lacked any creativity at all. It was always gas the whole building or poison the whole city with him. He lacked finesse and he had no sense of humor. She didn’t have to wait for him to confirm what she had just said. “Have you thought about mixing things up a little? Trying something new for a change? Maybe then Batman wouldn’t have such an easy time throwing you in Arkham.”

“You aren’t exactly a stranger to the cells of our former place of employment. And doing something new isn’t really what it’s about, Harley. Each new mass exposure would provide me with ample data about my toxin and the nature of fear itself. Plus hundreds of people will end up dead.”

“Sure, that would be true if B-man didn’t always foil your plan. How much data have you actually been able to collect? I can’t personally recall a single time that one of these plans for mass exposure has actually worked.” Harley looked around the lab while she was speaking. There was an entire wall of metal tanks that she assumed were full of fear toxin. That gave her an idea. “Hey have you ever thought of putting this stuff in balloons?”

“Balloons? Why would I put it in balloons?” He looked baffled by her suggestion. She sighed, you should never have to explain why balloons to anyone worth talking to. Why balloons? Because: BALLOONS‼

“Just trying to think outside the box a little, Johnny.”

“Yes, well I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try something different. I’m open to having an exchange of ideas if you are. I’m not sure if balloons would be the right choice for me though, it’s a little….clownish?” Harley was happy she had her back to the Scarecrow at that moment so he couldn’t see her sneer at his dismissive comment about clowns. Clowns are great, everybody loves a clown.

“Ok, Johnny, how about you and I come up with something that’s a little more fun but also more your style?” Harley couldn’t help but wonder what exactly the Scarecrow’s style was as she asked the question. Now Mr. J was a man with style. It didn’t help to dwell on the person who didn’t want her help, she needed to focus on the person who was willing to work with her. If Dr. Jonathan Crane didn’t have any personal style maybe she could help give him some.

“I would be amenable to that so long as we still managed to keep our data easy to collect and organized. I wouldn’t want the entire experiment to be ruined in an attempt to show some levity.” The Scarecrow answered her with a look on his face that suggested that levity was a word he knew the definition of but had no actual experience with. She really had her work cut out for her with this one.

It took a lot of manipulating and she’d never had to stroke a man’s ego so much in her life but eventually she had convinced the Scarecrow to create a plan for the inaugural ball that was almost worthy of a Gotham villain. Her original inspiration had been to create something with a Wizard of Oz theme but of course the Scarecrow would have nothing to do with that idea. Still the idea of Jonathan Crane skipping down a yellow brick road while singing “If I Only Had a Brain” had sent her into a fit of hysterics that had ended in tears and hiccups. After she calmed down and finally started getting him to listen to her the best she had been able to do with him was get him to agree to rig up a device to release the gas through the floral arrangements at the ball. Boring? Yes. As boring as piping it in through the ventilation system? No, nothing could beat that for dullest attempt at villainy ever. After a great deal of pleading she also got him to agree to let her go in with him and scare people too. Well she was technically supposed to be “observing and noting the subjects’ responses” but she was planning to scare the shit out of Gotham’s elite regardless of what the Scarecrow wanted her to do. When they finally agreed to a plan Harley had a moment of regret and almost went running back to the Joker. This all felt so below her and so miserably pathetic compared to being the partner in crime to the greatest villain of all time. But maybe this was what she had to do to be appreciated for her contributions, she just hoped Mr. J noticed.


	2. Chapter 2

She’d been gone for two days. He had laughed heartily at her threat to not come back on her way out the door. She’d be back, she always came back. And he certainly hadn’t had time to miss her. In fact his plans for the mayoral inauguration were coming along splendidly without her around to constantly distract him. The problem was that other residents of the hideout did seem to miss her and now that he was almost ready with his plan for destruction he was finding himself annoyed by the constant whining and crying. Nothing he or the boys could figure out to do would shut the hyenas up. He’d considered shooting them but something stopped him from doing it. He wasn’t going to contemplate what. So he finally gave in and called Harley.

“Puddin’?” She’d asked after picking up on the first ring. Good girl, she knew not to keep him waiting.

“Hello, Harls, miss your Daddy yet?”

“Oh Mr. J, I do…not! That’s what I meant to say, I do not miss you! Not even a little bit. I found someone who appreciates my talents and is letting me help them so why would I miss you?” Harley quickly changed her initial excited agreement into a tone fierce with pride. He knew she missed him despite what she said.

“Well Daddy misses you.” He felt sure that would melt her heart a little. “And so do Bud and Lou, you should hear all the noise they are making without their mommy.”

“Did you call me just because the babies are disturbing your work?” Harley asked suspiciously.

“Fine, you caught me. The damn things won’t shut up. Come home before I shut them up.” He was about to hang up having delivered his command when he was shocked by her reply.

“No. I’m not coming home. Not until after the inaugural ball. And if you hurt the babies, I’ll… I’ll..”She sputtered trying to come up with an appropriate threat.

“You’ll what, pumpkin?” He purred into the phone, knowing she became unable to hold onto her train of thought when he spoke to her like that.

“Just don’t hurt them? Please, Puddin’?” She pleaded.

He hung up on her. Let her worry for the next hour about what was going to happen to her barking beasts. He wasn’t going to sit around waiting for her to get over her tantrum while being annoyed constantly by the whining and howling coming from her pets. He’d just go and get her himself but she was in for it when he got her home.

It took almost no time to find her. The weed was of course the first person he thought of but when Harley wasn’t there he knew she’d choose someone weak willed and easily manipulated. He was at the Scarecrow’s hideout within thirty minutes of having hung up on her. He didn’t even bother with the goon guarding the entrance but shot him in the head quickly before storming into the building. Everyone in his path died until he found Harley and Dr. Jonathan Crane with their heads together as they went over what he assumed were their plans laid out on a table. He couldn’t truly say he could really feel jealous of the Scarecrow, there was no way Harley would betray him with anyone much less someone like Crane. Still he felt possessive of Harley all the same. He leaned against the doorframe and cleared his throat. The two former doctors looked up at him with very different expressions. Harley looked like a kid who just saw a big pile of presents that Santa left them and the Scarecrow looked like him might lose his lunch. The Joker didn’t even have to speak, Jonathan Crane immediately stammered out an excuse to leave the room. After he was gone Harley looked prepared to run and jump into the Joker’s arms with a squeal but then she seemed to remember that he was here because she had disobeyed him and a little look of worry crossed her face.

“I take it you just remembered that you are in trouble?” She nodded at him and bit her lower lip. He walked up to her, grabbed both of her pigtails and jerked her face close to his.

“Please, Daddy, I’m sorry. I just wanted to help you.” Harley said apologetically, tears shining in her eyes. Others watching her would think she was worried about what her punishment would be. They couldn’t be more wrong. Harley liked her punishments, she liked them an awful lot. The tears were because she had displeased him and he liked that an awful lot. As one of them rolled down her cheek he swiped it up with one finger and then licked away the salty proof of her devotion. She watched on in fascination and her breathing was starting to get faster and heavier. She was practically quivering with the need to have her behavior corrected. He had no plans to deny her, and why wait until they got home when the Scarecrow could learn a little lesson too?

“That’s you, Harley, always so helpful. You figured the best way to help me was to run off, make me chase you down and then take the time teach you a lesson? Well you were wrong Harley and now it’s time to pay for that.” She didn’t say anything but moaned a little and leaned her body into his.

He pushed her down so that she was bent at the waist over the table she had been pouring over her villainous plans with the Scarecrow only minutes before. The Joker didn’t bother to look at what sort of nonsense they had plotted together, it was not going to happen now, he’d make sure of that. He shoved her down so that one cheek rested on the table and held her there with one strong arm. With the other hand he pulled down the tiny shorts she had been wearing, exposing her bare ass to the cool air of the lab. He saw her skin break out in goosebumps and ran his hand over the raised flesh. Harley moaned again and it reminded him of what he was supposed to be doing. He drew his arm back and slapped her ass with all of his strength. There was a loud crack and a scraping sound as the impact forced the table forward a little. Harley didn’t make a sound. She knew that he’d keep smacking her until she was crying and begging for him to stop, she just didn’t want it to end too soon. After a few more hard strikes her ass was hot and red. He stopped and slid his hand between her thighs. She was dripping wet and as soon as she felt his hand touch her folds she spread her legs and pushed her ass out to give him better access. He laughed at that, he liked seeing her act like a slut for him. He kept her wanting most of the time, not just because he was busy but because watching her become increasingly desperate for his touch was hilarious. The best part was how hard she tried to tempt him and how eager she was to display the intensity of her desire for him.

He couldn’t actually remember the last time he’d given in and fucked her but here in Jonathan Crane’s lab seemed like as good a place as any. First he wanted to play a little. He might as well enjoy himself. He pushed three of his long slender fingers into her all at once. Harley was so wet and ready from her spanking that he met almost no resistance. He fucked her with a hard, fast sawing motion, showing no gentleness at all but she moaned and grunted and met his thrusts with her own. When he pulled his fingers out and then slid in again with four fingers she shrieked loudly, he wasn’t sure if it was pain or pleasure and he didn’t really care. He started moving around as much as he could in her tightly filled pussy, ultimately only being able to twist them in and out slowly. Within seconds she was wailing out a loud orgasm that was quickly followed by a second even louder one. The Scarecrow probably thought she was being murdered in his lab, the Joker thought with a laugh. When she quieted he moved his fingers out of her. He took a moment to appreciate the sight of her, legs trembling, ass red and bruised and pussy wet and swollen looking.

“Do you have anything to say Harley?” He asked her, while unfastening his pants.

“I’m sorry I was bad and ran away, Daddy. I won’t do it again.” That was a lie, they both knew she would and they both knew that it would probably end with a scene very similar to this. He knew it was a game they played as much as she did but he had no desire to stop playing.

“Good girl. Now I’ve decide you do deserve to get to help Daddy out. I’m going to make use of you right now.” He pushed his cock into her and listened to her screech at the sudden stretched and full feeling. He fucked her with abandon, laughing loudly as he did while she made a series of guttural moans and squeals. He loved feeling the wet velvety texture of her gripping around him when he was inside her, it felt like she was trying to hold him there and made pulling out even more delightful than pushing into her. As he felt his excitement building he moved his hand that had been holding her face down and now grabbed both of her pigtails, wrapping them around his hands and using them for leverage. She cried out in pain but he saw her hand disappear in front of her and knew she was furiously rubbing her clit at the mixture of pleasure and pain. As soon as she started in with banshee wails he knew meant she was coming, he rammed himself in and out of her furiously until he came with her. As soon as he felt able he pushed away from her and righted his clothing. Harley was still laying on the table panting so he smacked her ass hard and threw her shorts onto the table to let her know that she needed to get ready to go, they were leaving.

“Harley, are these tanks against the wall Crane’s only supply of his toxin?” He asked her while she was groaning in pain as she raised her shorts over her bruised flesh.

“Sure, Puddin’. It’s all ready to go for the inaugural ball.” She answered absent mindedly.

“Oh I think it’s already to go now. Why wait around when Bats is just going to swoop in and drag Crane off to Arkham anyway.” The Joker said as he started turning the nozzles on the tanks that would release the gas from them. It wouldn’t affect him or Harley to be around the gas and it was hilarious to consider the Scarecrow’s reaction to losing his entire supply of the gas so close to when he was planning to use it. Looks like there’d be one less princess at the ball he thought with a smile.

“Aw, Puddin’, I spent so much time convincing him to try something out that wasn’t his usual boring gas the crowd plan. And now it was all for nothing.” She said with a pout.

“It doesn’t matter, the mayor will be dead before the ball even starts. I have everything all planned out.” He informed her as he grabbed her hand and dragged her out of the lab and through the Scarecrow’s hideout full of dead goons.

“Really? That sounds just great, Daddy. Can I help?” She asked excitedly and the Joker groaned. The inauguration couldn’t come soon enough for him. Of course maybe Harley would run away again, he smiled at that thought.

“I think you’ve helped Daddy enough for one night, pumpkin. But maybe in a couple of days you could go help the Riddler. I’d just love for him to get a big dose of help from you. Of course I’d have to punish you for doing that.” He told her as she sat down in the passenger side of his car with a wince as her bruised butt hit the seat.

“I can do that! I can help anyone you want, well except Red, but every other villain in Gotham could probably be talked into letting me help them out. We could help them all right out of this whole inauguration.” She said excitedly, while wrapping herself around his arm nearest her.

“Oh, pooh! You really are Daddy’s little helper.” He started up the car and drove off as Harley squeaked with delight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, let me know if you liked it! And thank you radiantmania for all of the support and encouragement!


End file.
